I'm attaining numbness.
So it's day five? Six? I guess the truth lies in the result of my remaining MM ticket count.
I'm starting to see what Sanjay was talking about. The transformation. I guess it must have happened last year, but I didn't notice.
I'm not supposed to be burnt out-- not like I'm even seeing a full day's worth of films. I shouldn't even be tired by the somewhat late night, I should be totally recovered by now.
I blame the movie-lag on the dog I was babysitting (we have a dog, but got a second of the same breed to baby sit for $100 bucks for 4 days.)
So this dog, in my head, I was going to be free of it yesterday. But then the tropical depression held up the owners at a foriegn airport, and here we are.
My apartment has become a deathtrap of surprise pee stains. Okay, so for those of you that know me, it's even more so. This morning, I'm trying to smell my way to the hidden dump the little guy decided to hide on me. It was behind the couch. And it's narrow back there.
All of these things take a toll.
My brain is numb. My face is loose, sagging, just about ready to fall off. My eyes, double vision; part split screen shot, part projector out of focus.
As I type this thing, my fingers seem to be on a delay, like they're in different time zones, dialing it all in.
My heart might have exploded a few hours ago, but I have another pot of coffee boiling up to finish it off, just in case.
Sleepiness is a natural sort of pain killer.
I'll leave my stomach empty, so they're only be a 25% chance of a thin bile spray, before it's all over. That's my forecast for tonight.
Something that fascinated me for a time; I don't know if it's true, is that I heard that every five years your body will have completely regenerated a cycle of cells, making you physiologically a different person, cell by cell, than you were five years ago. Not sure how this applies to brain cells.
How about applying that to a programme of mind altering films?
Everything's painted with a thin coat of Surreal. And while this may resemble bad goth poetry, all through writing this, I'm wishing I could write some damn haikus for the contest, only I can't remember how many syllabuls they're supposed to be, is it five-seven-five?
But that's how I feel now, five days (?) into becoming a nocturne once again.
I get hungry at different times now--
For breakfast, I fry up some eggs at 2pm.
Dinner IS the movie.
My lunch will most likely be a grease dipped slice of pizza from the big slice around 3am.
My perceptions are different; and my morals are following.
On the edge of my subconcious, I picture the line gathering.
I think I'm ready for Martyrs now.
See you in the line, shamblers!